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Stupid stuff we hear at work

This topic has 14 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by Avatarmadjak30.
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  • #4249
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    Munch
    Participant

    Figure for a good off topic subject would not only be humorous but also a fun way to vent….. somewhat.
    Only thing I ask is no arguing over events or possible alternative meanings or whatever….. just post some of the dumb stuff you hear from people/clients/ bosses etc. at work.

    I am an auto mechanic so I hear some doozies

    My starter list:
    1) No I don’t want the brakes today I just use the car to drive.

    2) It’s ok the miles I put on the car are all on road miles.

    3) Lead tech to General Service:” The reason the engine block looks like that is because they use a Styrofoam form to cast it”….General Service: ” You mean they have Styrofoam in the block?”

    4) General Service-“Is that ticket on my hook for me or is it just hanging there?”

    5) Customer ” You couldn’t have rotated my tires the wheel covers are in the same spot”

    6) Customer: ” I brought my car in for an oil change yesterday and now the axle on the right side is clicking…your tech doesn’t know what hes doing!!” ….Service manager showing customer under the car:”Sir as you can see your oil filter not only is on the opposite side of the car but axles are not part of the “lube” aspect of the job”

    7) Customer drives off in a car that a brake job had just been done, after dragging the rear tires across the parking lot comes in screaming ” Your tech messed up my brakes!” Upon demonstration for giggles the sales person then tells customer to let off the parking brake, customer responds “How do I do that…I’ve never used it”

    8) Customer come in wanting an AC check and sales person asks about the symptoms. Sales:”So whats going on with the system is it blowing warm?” Customer: ” No it freezes me out but my son can’t feel it in the back seat” Sales guy goes to car and notices the setting. Upon which asking the customer where she normally has it… in which she states ” I never move it I thought it was set from factory for best comfort”

    9) Customer- ” After y’all changed my oil I hear a whistling sound” Tech- ” I didn’t hear anything when we parked it, let me ride with you and see if we can figure it out”….test drive ensues, tech hears the whistling. Tech-“Ma’am can you do me a favor..roll your window ALL the way up” Whistling goes away and with a very red face customer says ” See this is why my dad works on my cars… I know nothing about them” At which point tech wonders if customer really is licensed to drive.

    Will add through editing as I think of more or more happens

    #28630
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    madjak30
    Participant

    It always amazes me when dealing with the general public, just how uneducated they are about everyday items…cars especially, but really it applys to everything.

    I’m an electrician, and I used to work in service for the company I work for…some of the calls that we used to get (probably still do)…

    1) Customer: the plugs and lights don’t turn on….show up to service…reset the breaker…amazing…everything works…cleaning people turned on all the lights and plugged in the vacuum….breaker tripped…

    2) Customer: the lights aren’t on…over the phone: have you checked the switch?…customer: there’s a switch?….

    why would a company wait until winter to check the car plug ins in their staff parking lot? don’t they know that the labour will be more in the winter?

    I don’t think common sense is common anymore!!!

    I used to work as an auto parts guy…we used to call the other lines when we were busy and ask for stupid things…wind for the windshield…roof racks for a convertible…radiator hoses for a carmen ghia…just to see if the other guys were actually paying attention…if you were paying attention…there was a “special on”…

    Life is serious enough…I alway try to have a little fun at work…

    Later.

    #28637
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    Eddiepowerfm
    Participant

    me: power fm
    caller: what is the phone number for ………
    me: you hear that commercial on another station, it is 94.9FM
    caller: I know but they don’t answer the phone like you do.

    God help us all.

    #28717
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    Munch
    Participant

    Just acquired a new one…..
    I can’t believe this was an honest sincere question:

    “Do we get Halloween off?” o.O

    #28835
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    MaxDadAK
    Participant

    After a Bill Engvall show at the Performing Arts Center, I walked back to the staff parking where my wife and I parked ( it pays to know the security officers). Unbeknownst to us it was also the stage exit. As my wife and I came around the corner, out comes Mr. Engvall with his little security detachment. I turn around and yell, “Hey Bill can I take a picture with you?” To which he replies, ” Sure, you got a camera?”. I smiled to him as he walked over to us and told him “Here’s your sign.” He paused for a second than started to laugh and shake his head. I got my picture with Bill and a good laugh to. I made a jokester his own joke.

    #28839
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    Munch
    Participant

    nice!!

    #28841
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    Munch
    Participant

    Working at the shop…. Lady in a near new SUV pulls up.

    ” Excuse me can you help me?”….. brain already thought “probly not” but I try and be nice so I ask ” Sure whatcha need?” the response both floored me and caught me off guard to the point the sarcasm came out before I could catch myself.
    Her question:
    “We have been driving around for ten minutes trying to figure out how to get out of the mall parking lot… can you help” …..lol what?!

    MY immediate almost regretful response was….. “Sure can, at some point in the next ten minutes you find yourself taking the turns in the same direction, switch it up a touch and go the other way”

    Luckily she was in good spirits and laughed at not only the response but at herself for not realizing the simplicity of the answer that she had yet to conclude.

    #28844
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    MaxDadAK
    Participant

    LoL! Priceless! Great that she saw the humor of it. Had she thanked you profusely and left without comment, you could rest assured she would have come back still lost and probably blaming you. It’s always better when people don’t take themselves too seriously.

    #28921
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    CHamann
    Participant

    Having a very small class in high school, students “track” themselves early on. I could be almost certain who the kids in all my math and science classes were going to be since sophomore year. As a class, we’ve had Algebra I and II, Pre-Calculus, Calculus, both AP and standard Chemistry, as well as AP and Standard Physics. Most of us are currently enrolled in AP Physics, and we get the same question almost every day:

    “How do we convert meters to kilometers?”

    3 years of advanced math and science with countless labs and busy work, no one knows how to do this simple conversion. God save us all.

    #28923
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    TrialsRider
    Participant

    I was trying to assist two young drivers with reading a hand drawn map that clearly had Montreal and Toronto indicated on a line labeled 401, they were starting from North of 401 and confused about needing to take 401 East or 401 West to get to Montreal. I pointed to the map and inquired “so which way is North on this map?” and they both agreed: “North is at the top of the page” So I turned the page over for them and said “there, now East is on your right” …I wonder if they ever found it :|

    #28926
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    Munch
    Participant

    This is why I spent an hour with each of my daughters teaching them about the compass and more importantly the rise and fall of the sun and moon. The biggest part that tripped them up was going down a highway I would ask them which way were we headed. One time the sign said 39 south. The position of the sun was not where it should be. She threw her hands up and said it was getting confusing. I had to laugh and say to her ” Sweetheart, they didn’t get the lesson you just did, so the roads dips and turns in all kinds of ways but some patience will get you where you need to go, if the folks would have had decent parents or would have listened to their parents, we would get where we are going a lot quicker”….. bam! 2 birds 1 stone.

    #28930
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    madjak30
    Participant

    You guys aren’t metric yet…so…nope that’s not a good excuse either…

    I think we are all effed in the next 20-30 yrs when your generation takes over from mine…maybe I’ll die in a spectacular motorcycle accident and won’t have to see it…nice, eh?

    Later.

    #28932
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    CHamann
    Participant

    There’s some fantastic people in my class, don’t get me wrong. I think half of my Calc class is going to U of M (overpriced for what you get if you ask me). I don’t think it’s the text book knowledge me generation is lacking, it seems to be the common sense. Letter grades have taking over face-to-face interviews and we’re loosing the human element to be more efficient.

    There’s always a bell curve in pretty much everything, and I do see that in school too. There’s just as many rocket scientists as there are McPloyees in every class. We need both as both are vital for any economy too.

    #28978
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    TrialsRider
    Participant

    There are a lot of amazing things that you can do with a motorcycle, as vehicles go they excel at almost everything; acceleration, braking, climbing, jumping, you name it. Most impress me and make me proud to be a biker, but the one thing I just loathe seeing is a motorcycle doing a burnout. Burnouts are wasteful, dangerous and totally unremarkable, unless things go wrong.

    If you disagree and just gotta prove yourself a total idiot by attempting a motorcycle burnout, here are some tutorials and training videos to help you along the way:
    No Safety Gear Required: No helmet gloves or protective gear, after all, you’re not going anywhere so that stuff is way too hot anyway. The objective of a burnout is to off-load the rear wheel and spin it up to a hundred rpm or better, thus creating a terrible smell, waste of fuel, damage stuff and totally prove you are one cool ass.
    Preferred Attire: Flip-flops and a T-shirt seems to be a favorite for burnouts, casual street clothes and maybe a baseball cap are also acceptable.
    Minimum Requirements: Any motorcycle (the more expensive and powerful the better), one or more spectators plus one complete moron to twist the throttle.

    Now for those promised training videos:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3548XIKZO0
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNin0ATI6Zg
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ1eMYdLKrs
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ4K_06Dd1g
    After you’ve perfected a basic burnout, it’s time to kick it up a notch, put on some actual riding gear and demonstrate a professional burnout:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCW4nOdqcL8
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeX5qPEYxzM

    …was inspired to write this after stumbling on one of these YouTube clips, hope you don’t mind me slipping it into this thread, it seemed slightly appropriate. Happy New Year:)

    #28979
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    madjak30
    Participant

    Burn out in a water box at the drag strip…I understand that…
    Burn out during a drift race…I understand that…
    Burn out while trying to make a hasty get away…I can understand that (done that one myself in my cars and trucks)
    Burn out to waste rubber and abuse an engine…ummm…nope, don’t get it…never did…

    Those are some awesome video links…I enjoyed the laugh for New Years…

    Happy New Year!! I hope everyone enjoyed the evening as much as I did!!

    Later.

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