- This topic has 13 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 7 months ago by yugen852.
I told my Mom today…
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July 27, 2009 at 2:59 am #3202owlieParticipant
My Mom and I had the talk today. It was actually much easier than it could have been. It was also shorter than I expected. For the record, I cannot imagine having tried to have this conversation all those years ago when I had just started driving. Time, independence, and responsibility have probably made alot of the arguments that Mom would have given moot.
So, here was how it went down for those of you trying to work up the courage to break it to your Mom:
First, I mentioned a month or so ago that I was thinking about taking up motorcycle riding. I strategically did this during a conversation about my uncle and his new motorcycle. It planted the thought in my parents’ minds, but I didn’t follow up on it during the conversation and I didn’t mention it again until after I had taken the BRC.
After I passed the BRC, I told my Mom in an email that I had taken it, passed it, not dropped the motorcycle, and mentioned a compliment that I had recieved from the instructors. I kept the email short and to the point. (surprising from me, isn’t it?)
Finally, my Mom brought it up in our usual weekly call about things. She asked if I was going to get a bike and what kind. I told her it would be a small bike and that I was waiting until I got my exam results back (personal/professional priorities). She asked if I was going to use it to commute. I told her no, I wasn’t planning to do much highway riding, and my sweetie wouldn’t ride with me anyway (mostly true). She asked about getting it out of my driveway (gravel with a significant incline). I told her that I was a little concerned about that myself, but I would take it easy.
Then I gave her a sort-of funny anecdote about telling one of my coworkers about my new hobby; he is concerned that I think my job is so bad that I am looking for innovative methods of assisted suicide. That got a laugh and we moved on to complaining about the poor special effects in the new Harry Potter movie.
So here is my advice for talking your parents:
1) Take it slowly and don’t make it confrontational. Give them time to get used to the idea before you talk specifics.
2) Think of the arguments from their angle, and come up with sane, responsible counter-arguments.
3) Make sure that they know you plan to take it slowly and aren’t going to jump in over your head.
4) Help them to understand that you have considered the risks and how to minimize them.Somethings it will never be easy to talk about with your parents. And if you still live with your parents, you have to still respect their wishes. However, if you consistently show them that you are responsible enough to handle it, the difficulty in communicating this should be minimal.
All the best,
OwlieJuly 27, 2009 at 3:15 am #20977VitricParticipantKnow what I did?
“Hey mom, I’m getting my motorcycle permit today. Then I’m going to get a sport bike after I pass the safety course.”
“Okay, but no sport bike.”
“Sweet, and yes sport bike.”
.. and I walked out the door.
July 27, 2009 at 2:17 pm #20983eonParticipantWow, you da man.
July 27, 2009 at 5:37 pm #20990VitricParticipantI know *tremendous ego boost*
July 28, 2009 at 1:39 am #21001owlieParticipantAh, well… Every family’s dynamics are different.
YMMV
July 28, 2009 at 2:26 am #20985ranetteParticipantI was about 6 weeks short of my 46th birthday, and it still scared the crap out of me to tell my mom. My family was in the insurance business and the idea of one of us riding a motorcycle was totally out of the question. However the conversation didn’t go too badly once she realized that it was in my possession. Still when I speak a little about riding to her she always tells me that she trusts me to ride safely, she just doesn’t trust all of the idiots out on the road. I let her know that’s a valid concern but that part of learning to ride safely is to realize that there are idiots on the road and to try to anticipate their idiocy.
July 30, 2009 at 1:59 am #21056yugen852ParticipantI was a bit nervous too when I told my parents. The other day, I finally convinced them with facts about the pros and cons of being on two wheels, and they respected my knowledge, hence, my decision. I agree with owlie that with every family is different, because every family do things their own way. The biker will simply have to find a way to confront them by knowing how they work.
yugen852
August 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm #21445nok610ParticipantI haven’t even told my parents about the bike yet since they are away on vacation. I’m 30 years old and my wife is all for the bike, but my mom on the other hand despises them. But I guess I will break the news to them that I bought a bike when they get back from Orlando. I hope my mom is as cool as yours when it’s all said and done.
August 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm #21449MunchParticipantunlike some of the others though… she can’t ground you anymore. Heck mine found out the day I rode up in the driveway with it. Honestly… didn’t care if she agreed with it or not, and she knew that.
One of the few times age has it’s perks.August 10, 2009 at 4:35 pm #21454BenParticipantDamnit!
I know there is a “You’re mom” joke to be made out of this thread I just can’t seem to put one together. This is my best shot:
“You’re mom and I had a talk today too, and she says she likes to ride”
Eh, not my best, but i’m running on low sleep!
Ben
August 10, 2009 at 4:36 pm #21455BenParticipantlol in all seriousness this is a great article, I plan on writing up a similar article for BBM, do you think I could use parts (if not your whole story) in my article owlie? I would reference you and everything, but I think yours is a good real life example.
Ben
August 10, 2009 at 9:37 pm #21465owlieParticipantFeel free to use it.
I’ll not mention my age (old enough to drink, young enough to still get carded), but I will say that age does have its privledges. As with several other members on the board, I’m old enough that it doesn’t really matter what my Mom thinks. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t respect either her feelings or her opinion.
August 11, 2009 at 1:51 am #21479nok610Participant“As with several other members on the board, I’m old enough that it doesn’t really matter what my Mom thinks. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t respect either her feelings or her opinion.”
Couldn’t have put it better.
August 11, 2009 at 11:21 pm #21524yugen852ParticipantI agree.
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