[WeaponZero]

Sorry, I just had to tell someone.

My mother recently dropped a bomb on me. She told me that when I was a child, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and she’s been keeping it from me all these years because she never thought it was a big deal. Now I’m turning 30 next month, and she tells me out of nowhere.

I always knew I was different, but in a way that I didn’t like. Now I know, and the truth is that it’s depressing because it could have been helped a lot to get therapy when I was younger and still in school. It’s also depressing because it’s not a problem that can be “cured”, it’s just part of who I am.

I’ve been very depressed lately as a result, and I’ve been more reckless while riding as a result. I don’t know, I’m going through a period right now where I just don’t care.

Anyway, had to get it off my chest.

EDIT:

The good news is that this whole experience has led to much improved cornering technique…

[Munch]

Depressed….why? Does anything she told you change who you are? Or the things you have accomplished? Spending too much time lamenting over what might have or would have been, you will blind yourself to what can or could be……which of those can you change?

As is our saying here….cowboy up and ride on!

[TrialsRider]

People with Asperger’s often display intense interests !

[WeaponZero]

That’s for sure.

[WeaponZero]

Well the thing is, I’ve been running into a lot of problems in other areas of my life lately that can be attributed to this (relationship problems, problems at work, problems in general). And learning why is getting me down because it’s not something that can really be changed or *fixed.*

[Munch]

So now that you know….grab the perverbial bootstraps and get it handled……though relationship problems and job problems….not limited to folks with that diagnoses…..its a human thing. Don’t let it be a crutch for explaining things away…use it as a driving force for improvement.

[ranette]

Between writing this and hitting the post button I see that Munch has said essentially the same thing, but I figured I’d let you know my thoughts.

I’m not a psychologist so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but my .02. The key to me is it IS part of who you are, more importantly, who you’ve always been. It’s not as if you just been diagnosed with something that is going to change you. Of course I don’t really know you, but from your posting here you certainly seem to be well adjusted socially, definitely part of the norm. Just because all of a sudden somebody has put a label on an aspect of your personality, something that has always been that way, why should that change any aspect of how you live your life? You are the exact same person you were last week and I would say that there’s no reason you shouldn’t view the world in the same way you always have. Bottom line is you’re not going to wear a T shirt proclaiming “I have Asperger’s Syndrome”. What I mean by that is you’re not going to seem different to your friends and family, or people that you pass in the street; it is simply something about your medical history that you now know.

I assume that your mother was trying to protect you from being stigmatized, and maybe you feel that was wrong. Maybe that’s a conversation that you should have, but I really can’t comment on mother issues, being Jewish our mother/son issues are always somewhat unique.

[WeaponZero]

Problem is I’m not well adjusted socially. As a child I would go for days at a time without speaking which is why my mother had me tested in the first place. I’ve been trying to improve though but this revelation worries me because it makes me feel like my efforts are for nothing. This is going to sound totally pathetic and the only reason I’m even mentioning it here is because I’ll likely never actually meet any of you guys, but the problems this has been creating dating-wise are really getting me down. I’d explain further but it would venture into the realm of TMI and I’d rather not go there with you guys.

[Munch]

Thanks for the non TMI ….. heck not speaking for days….. hell they just call me introverted. For the most part you either love me or hate me and for most I rather it be the latter…1 less person I feel the need to be concerned about. As far as the dating thing….. just gotta wait til you find that one you get intensely interested in.

[Jeff in Kentucky]

Some famous people with Asberger’s syndrome:

http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/article_2086.shtml

A lot of people online have it- they are better at interacting with people with words, instead of in person.

[owlie]

Knowing the “reason” for certain aspects of your personality doesn’t change who you are. There is no reason you ever have to tell anyone this about you unless you want to. And there is no reason that you should allow knowing this to diminish how you feel about yourself.

Those things that define strength of character come from how you face adversity, not how you deal with the more pleasant things in life.

As for work and relationships- everyone has a hard time. It is just part of living. You can find excuses for what is happening, or you can accept it, work through it, and hope for the brighter things in life.

On the otherhand, You have made huge progress towards some of your goals. You have no idea how many people envy your success at losing weight, and we are all cheering you along.

Owlie

[madjak30]

After reading up on what that is…I’m still a little murkey here, does that mean you are gifted in some way? Otherwise, you probably only come across as shy…I think most of us can see some of those traits in ourselves, and like others have more eloquently stated…it is part of who you are, there is nothing you can do about it so…move on…nothing to see here…maybe I see more of myself in the description too, being I am a Quality Control Advisor at work…basically I show and tell people what paperwork needs to be done, perform audits on their execution of a plan and repetition is my life…and I love my job…

So don’t let it change you, it’s just you…

Later…

[Jeff in Kentucky]

Some people are the life of the party, with less than average intelligence based on paperwork type testing. They prefer to do things in a group.

Other people are shy, read more, and are much better at focusing on the paperwork that we measure intelligence with. They prefer to work alone.

Asberger’s syndrome and autism describe people at the extreme end of this spectrum, and some are very gifted for a narrow topic that they decided to focus on. Evolution selected for both types of behavior.

A lot of motorcycle riders are loners or ride in small groups. I never ride in a group of more than 7 people, and only a couple of times a year. Other people like to join large motorcycle clubs and go to big parties every month.

[Author]

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