DMV says yes, SWMBO says no : (
August 29, 2008 at 9:55 pm #1997KchakaParticipant
Passed MSF. Been to DMV and updated my license. Now my wife who gave me luke-warm support to attend the MSF class is asking me to please not get a motorcycle.
She’s never been keen on this anyway, but let me slide on the MSF class. I think she was hoping I would try it and not like it or just get over this fad and move onto a different hobby. In fairness to her, this has been sort of a wild hair for me. Spent most of my life saying I didn’t understand the lure/attraction of motorcycles, but for some reason I got the bug in the last 3-4 months. She is sure that they are unsafe and doesn’t want to see me hurt or killed. Sweet, but still agrivating.
Here are my options as I see them. One, tell her I love her and buy my planned Vulcan 500 anyway. Two, tell her yes dear and yield to her desires to remain on 4 wheels. Three, tell her I will chew on it for a month or two and if I’m still as gung-ho to get a MC, then do it at that time (after properly considering her objections).
#1 seems a good way to anger the most important person in my life, but #2 seems to cheat me out of something important.
Advice, symathy, jeers all welcome.
Cager in Colorado : (August 29, 2008 at 10:22 pm #11406smokeizfireParticipant
Women are our other voice inside us that is very low(almost silent) in our ears that tell us to slow down, think about it, etc..
Only difference is the voice of a woman is much louder and harder to tune out. It’s good you consider her feelings. Hope she isn’t making you choose between her and the bike. Anywho, there’s a good way to handle things, and a bad way, as you pointed out yourself. If she likes surprises, it may be a good idea to just go and buy one, then ….surprise! Maybe after she sees it, she’ll like it and say.”OK honey, you can keep it (like a little puppy). She may think it’s sexy too how you just ignored what she said, and stand up for yourself. The other way(painful), try to get her into motorcycles to learn more about the different kinds of bikes, and which ones are less likely to lure you in to speeding(like lets say a sport bike). Teach her about the different ccs on a bike and what they represent. However, if she is totally closed minded about anything, start looking for the other MC….. A Monte Carlo…LOL
HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS WINSAugust 30, 2008 at 12:09 am #11408RabParticipant
You guys are trying to understand women? Good Luck on that one
My Wife was also against me getting a motorcycle, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.
She came round when she realized that I was serious about it and that this was important to me. She now enjoys coming out pillion with me on the week-ends… so long as I don’t speed or lane-split
Funny that, about your “conversion” later in life; same thing happened to me some years back.August 30, 2008 at 12:42 am #11409MunchParticipant
maybe get her in on some of the MSF stuff you learned.. let her get to know what you were taught, learned and maybe she will convert. Let her read this site and many others to let her get a better feel of the reality of riders and not what the locak news reports on and/or the “hells angels” attitude that seems to get pinned on ya.
I got lucky… I was on the fence about getting my Vulcan… my better half pushed me closer to it :^) and she wonders why I call her perfect.August 30, 2008 at 12:58 am #11411CBennettParticipant
Lol your wife is the same as mine. She does not like it nor did she really want me getting a bike and or riding. She just thinks its dangerous.August 30, 2008 at 2:46 am #11416AndrewParticipant
Most women are open to the barter system. If you can afford it you convince her by telling her you will buy her a diamond ring worth the same as the bike. If she is someone who is convinced that a bike is instant death then you are unlikely to ever change that opinion.
I convinced my wife by starting with the scooter idea and then slowly moving to the bike based on how much safer a bike is in fast moving traffic. My wife was fine until I passed MSF and then she was cool. She is dealing with it because it’s something I want to do and I am going to do it within certain guidelines. The protective gear is a no brainer. The ban on Interstate riding is fine now but I may get sick of that once I am comfortable riding at speed.August 30, 2008 at 6:01 pm #11435LokiParticipant
Women are great but dont ever let them sway you away form something you want to do, you only live once.August 30, 2008 at 7:23 pm #11438BoOZe P-ti MotardParticipant
mine is just different.. she likes bike but does not want to ride or try but want me as the ‘chauffeur’… even if i crashed or wrecked, she likes bikes… but she knows and better let me cheat on her for a bike than another female… lol so she lets me and knows bikes and riding forms part of me… so give her time, give her room.. and keep on explaining, coolly, gently.. else you know what will happen….
Solomolo RiderAugust 30, 2008 at 8:06 pm #11444BankParticipant
aww man i’m so lucky my girl doesnt mind me riding. Its probably due to the fact that her dad has an interest in bikes so I suppose shes used to it by now.
But most women hold double standards. They want you to support them in whatever they do, but sometimes its hard to get the same support returned. I can understand her not wanting you to ride it because its “un-safe”, but she should still support the things you wan to do and are passionate about. I think you just need to sit down with her and talk to her about it. Find out her specific reasons for not wanting you to ride and try your best to clear up any doubts or questions that she has. Her fear might just be from ignorance about the culture. I dunno if that helps or not, but it just a suggestion.August 30, 2008 at 9:49 pm #11455megaspazParticipant
you only live once
Isn’t that the core of the issue with the missus? ;-P
If there’s anything more important than my ego
around, I want it caught and shot now…August 30, 2008 at 11:36 pm #11459fotobitsParticipant
I was riding long before I met my wife. Her father is a retired airline pilot, and his hobby is building airplanes, so my wife is used to the idea of men doing dangerous, expensive things to relax. Even better, my wife loves motorcycles and wants one of her own, so when I came home after riding a friend’s bike July 4th and said “I need a motorcycle,” my wife did not skip a beat. Her response was “Go for it.”
I wish I had an answer for you. The big questions are: Which is more important, riding or your wife? Which would you regret more in 40 years, staying with your wife or not riding a motorcycle? Do you want to sit in your rocking chair regretting not going for the gusto while holding this woman’s hand and looking back on life with her?
Tough choice. The big question is, do you love your wife enough to give up your dream of motorcycling?August 30, 2008 at 11:50 pm #11460fotobitsParticipant
and told me to add this.
You need to find out why your wife does not want you to ride a motorcycle.
Do you have children? Maybe your wife is afraid she’ll be a single mom.
Are you a major klutz who can’t ride a bicycle without getting hurt?
Do you have a bad driving record in your car?
As Bank suggested, sit down with your wife and talk.September 2, 2008 at 6:12 pm #11556cybrnathanParticipant
Bank and Fotobits are right. Sit down and talk about it. My wife wasn’t too keen on the idea either, but we talked it out. Elwood1960 had a great idea too, have her take the MSF class. She may be transmitting the fear she has onto you and by taking the class she may not be afraid anymore. You might even produce a riding partner.September 2, 2008 at 7:55 pm #11560chaiyaParticipant
I just passed the MSF, and I think my husband was secretly hoping I wouldn’t pass and that would be the end of it. He’s not to thrilled about my getting a motorcycle. So I’m trying to get my husband to take the class as well…. maybe he will warm to it once he has tried it out.September 2, 2008 at 10:06 pm #11579BankParticipant
Maybe hes just jealous that his wife is going to be looking cool and badass on a motorcycle and he isnt
But i think deep down, everyone has the itch to experience what a bike feels like…so dont lose hope, he might come around eventually.
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