- This topic has 13 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 6 months ago by eternal05.
Confidence, Lost & Found
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October 13, 2009 at 10:03 pm #3460eonParticipant
So after my little get off about 6 weeks ago (slippery roads resulted in low side around 20mph), I have been experiencing a lack of confidence in my riding. It took about 4 weeks for the replacement parts to get delivered so I’ve only been riding for the past 2 weeks, but I’ve been shocked how much the fall affected me. The fall itself was a low drama affair. I was not hurt at all and the bike was merely scraped up with the steering knocked out of alignment. I know exactly why I fell (first rain after long dry spell = VERY slippery roads) so I was not feeling any apprehension about getting back on. I thought I might be a little cautious on damp roads but as I leaned over for the first corner that instant where the front end washed out from me flashed before my eyes. What the hell? Not what I want to be thinking about as I lean into a corner. I then discover that every time I lean over I feel like I am going to fall. This is a major surprise and a major bummer. For the first time EVER in my brief riding career I feel fear when riding. This is not good.
So, time to head to the parking lot and get some practice in. It took me months to perfect my U-turns and to my horror I discover I am as bad as I ever was. I even manage to drop the bike for the first time in PLP (though soon as I heard scraping noises I magically found the strength to lift that puppy back up again). I stick at it and realize my arms are very tense and that is causing all my problems. I make a conscious effort to relax and it starts to come good again. I’m not quite as good as I was before but close enough. Time to head out to my favorite twisties for a leisurely ride. First few corners I am pretty timid but slowly I regain my confidence and start to enjoy the ride. I am cruising along at 40~50mph taking in long sweepers. This is a relaxed pace for these corners. It is cold and dry but I notice the roads are damp where trees overhang the road. I had just started to take a right hander when I lose grip at the front again. This all happened in a blink of an eye but this time I eased of the counter steer and the bike regained traction. This leaves me heading for the wrong side of the road and I now have a choice of continuing onto the oncoming lane or doing a sharp lean. Given that I had just lost traction with a small lean and there is no oncoming traffic I decide to keep going straight and brake as hard as I dare, get my speed down and then wobble back into my own lane. Needless to say my fragile confidence is shattered and I decide to head home while I am still in one piece.
The next day a few friends are going on a ride (round Hood Canal for those in the Seattle area). I debate whether to go or not but decide I need to get back in the saddle. The first half of the ride is winds its way down the east side of the inlet which is in shade first thing in the morning so it’s cold and damp there. Have to say I had a torrid time. I felt as if I was going to fall off at every corner. I bounced between being mad at myself, if the guys in front of me were taking the corners then so could I, to convincing myself there was a problem with my tires, with my suspension, with anything that would explain why I felt I had no grip. I almost quit and turned around but persevered as I knew once we reached the west side of the inlet we would be in sunshine and faster roads. When I had no problem there and could take fast turns comfortably I knew all the problems were in my head. This was reinforced when we hit some shade and suddenly I felt I had a lack of grip again. Same road just in shadow but suddenly my confidence is gone.
That was last week and this weekend I was out by myself just taking in the back roads. For the first time since my fall I was concentrating solely on my lines and throttle control. I completely forgot to worry about falling off. Of course, this was on a bright sunny day so I’m not convinced I am completely out of the woods yet but it was great to enjoy the ride again. Maybe I just need to take Eternal’s advice and head down to Home Depot for a big bag of nuts
October 13, 2009 at 10:50 pm #22826MunchParticipantA mental thing like that is not easy to over come. Even though it was low drama in your words obviously it had a huge impact on your survival instincts.
Same as a horse when something bad happens to it. You will have to work long and hard to get a horse to cross the same path twice where something “scary ” happened to it.
Keep at the dry runs to get your confidence up but your going to have to find a secluded are to practice the “wet” turns to get your brain pass the event that happened to you. If you notice your “fear” really doesn’t bubble up until you get near those points. Your going to have to force yourself to work on those especially hard to get back into riding shape.October 13, 2009 at 10:58 pm #22827Gary856ParticipantYou will gain back your confidence in time. No need to push too hard to get it back right away.
Piror to my lowside, I had full confidence (false) that I’d never run out of traction in a corner, and that even if I did go down my gear would protect me 100% even at 80mph on the freeway. Well, a 30 mph lowside in the hills shattered those notions. Even though I escaped with relatively minor road rash and damages to the bike (about $1k worth), my confidence took much longer to rebuild. After I got the bike fixed enough to get back to riding about 2 weeks later, I felt like a brand new rider – very uncomfortable with leaning the bike. I didn’t have flashbacks, but the sound of parts scraping on the ground during the crash stuck in the back of my mind.
I can’t pin point exactly how long it took, but it must had been 2-3 months before the memory of the crash faded enough and I regained the confidence to be comfortable with cornering again. Now, 5 months after that crash and with a lot more riding experience, I’m more cautious with cornering than I was before.
October 14, 2009 at 1:58 am #22828eternal05ParticipantWhile I haven’t really had a similar experience (not counting an “explorative” lowside in PLP), I definitely relate to that uneasy feeling of not trusting your traction. It’s weird, but ever since I’ve been riding on the track, I’ve been losing more and more confidence in my traction when on the street. All the bumps, potholes, sediment, and the fact that often I ride short enough distances (< 4mi) or slow enough paces (25-30mph stop/go small-road commutes) that I can't count on my tires to have really warmed up, have conspired to psychologically affect me. I just realize how easy it would be to go down. You'd think that experiencing the kind of tire grip that keeps you perfectly planted in a 90mph knee-down sweeper would give me MORE confidence in the grip of my tires when trundling around town... The human mind is a weird thing, and given how illogical the more instinctual parts of our brains can be sometimes, I’m really glad to hear that you’re working past the shellshock of your, albeit minor (the best kind), get-off. May you find yourself conquering the local twisties again with full fervor asap! P.S. Where are the local twisties for you? Given that I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you passing in traffic before, your “local twisties” might just be mine as well. Have any particularly dear routes you want to share?
October 14, 2009 at 11:00 am #22834JtownJJAParticipantKeep at it, and the confidence will continue to grow.
I had a similar experience the other day where I went into a sharp right curve too quickly. Luckily it was not a blind curve, and I could see that nothing was coming the other way. I also opted to straighten up the bike and go into the other lane so I could brake, then get back into my own lane.
Think of what a better rider you will be in the long term, having had the experience. I wish I could learn the lessons that come with taking a fall… (without taking the fall).October 14, 2009 at 2:11 pm #22843briderdtParticipantI may have even said this before…
Anyway, I used to bike race. A lot. One year I did a mountain bike race that started on a track for one lap, then went into the trails. So that first lap was a mad dash to get position before the track narrowed. I didn’t sprint it out and go into oxygen dept like every one else, so I was being passed. A lot. One guy bumped me on the right side, no problem. Then one guy swiped me on the left and took my handlebars with him. I went down hard, bike flying 5′ into the air… Broken collar bone (bad), season done.
So I missed a whole summer of riding. But the next year I was back out there. And I found myself absolutely FREAKING OUT if I had riders on both sides of me. I’d soon find myself spat out the back of the pack because I’d get to the side of the peleton and push wind.
It literally took me 3 years to get over that. And still, to this day I prefer a position at the side of the pack, with at least one escape route, to being in the middle of a group.
So it can take time. Be patient with your sense of self-preservation.
October 14, 2009 at 3:09 pm #22851eonParticipantI too have fallen off my bicycle many times but strangely that never affected me. It’s just weird how this one did. I know I will get over it as I have already started to but again, it’s a weird feeling being a somewhat experienced rider now but feeling fear for the first time. Maybe I was just too dumb to know what I was getting into in the beginning
It makes me feel better to hear other people have the same issues. Was feeling a bit of a wuss after all the stories you hear about folks having bad crashes but getting back on as soon as they can.October 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm #22852eonParticipantMy “local twisties” are out towards the Duvall area (though I live downtown Seattle). Any road around that area is generally good. I typically ride up the west side of Snoqualmie Valley, up the High Bridge Road towards Cathcart then Snoqualmie. Heading further north towards Granite Falls, Menzel Lake Rd is great and most other roads in between.
I also head through UW area a lot going towards Magnusson Park where I play soccer and also practice on the MSF lot there. I remember saying you are in grad school so I’m thinking you are in that area. Not a lot of MP3s on the road and I’ve never seen another 500cc on the road (500cc has the Mad Max bodywork, 400/250ccs have the X-Files alien look), so you may have seen me around. I’m thinking you are not in your black/white outfit as I think I would have noticed that
October 14, 2009 at 3:16 pm #22854eonParticipantGiven that my bike is my only means of transport, I live in Seattle and winter is fast approaching I’m going to get lots of practice riding in the rain. In fact was out in it last night. Took it easy as I could hear car wheels spinning as they took off from every intersection so I knew it was slippy. Did fine apart from one sharp corner where there are lots of potholes and manhole covers. Finding a good line through there is tricky in the dry so last night I chickened out and took it very easy, staying almost vertical the whole way through. Still, I’m in no hurry to get back to normal as another spill at this point would be very bad.
October 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm #22859Gary856ParticipantWhen I was riding mountain bike the following cycle would repeat about every two years:
Tentative – confident – over confident – crash with injury – repeat.
Now that I’ve done one cycle of this on a motorcycle within just 5 months of riding, I want to make sure the cycle does not repeat.
October 15, 2009 at 2:31 am #22866eternal05ParticipantHahah yeah, that leather suit would be a bit overkill for my 6-minute commute down sandpoint way. I actually live about a mile from to that MSF lot (I took the MSF BRC there too), between there and Children’s Hospital. And yes, I should have about five months of school before I’m no longer “in grad school,” and definitely spend an inordinate amount of time in the U-District. I think when I saw you you were headed down the little hill westbound on 50th st at 15th ave. This was months ago.
I really got to check out some of those boonies roads that look so pretty in your photos. I haven’t ventured out on the twisties since I started track riding…gotta get over my feelings of insecurity on the street
October 15, 2009 at 5:28 pm #22872eonParticipantI have the feeling your insecurities would allow you to corner at twice the speed i would feeling totally confident! Maybe one day I will head to the track but my current leanings are more towards offroad than track days. Will probably get myself a new bike late next year so I have some time to make my mind up.
I think most of the pictures I have posted here have been from further afield trips, over the Cascades, down to Rainier etc. I did post some pics from the southern end of Snoqualmie Valley but that was some time ago. I highly recommend getting out there and enjoying the wonderful roads & scenery WA has to offer. I took all this for granted till I moved to the concrete metropolis called Atlanta. You don’t appreciate what you have till its gone!
October 16, 2009 at 4:01 am #22888owlieParticipantYou guys have heard about the first two times that I dropped my bike. And, although I spent alot of time thinking about whether I was doing something stupid after the second drop, it didn’t shake my confidence up.
It was the third drop that really killed me. And every time I pull out of my driveway, I have to face it. In all honesty, if it hadn’t been for a specific set of circumstances that occured that day, I would have taken my bike back to the garage and never gotten on it again.
It sounds like you are doing what you need to be doing though. For me, it was alot of time doing hill starts and slow races. Even now, before I ride on down the road, I do about 20ft of slow race and 3-4 hill starts before I leave my driveway. But at the top of the drive, I still feel trepedation about pulling out.
Take your time, and everything will come together as it should.
October 16, 2009 at 5:13 am #22890eternal05ParticipantI’ve actually been contemplating supermoto or MX as a next venture. All of the great road riders are fairly good sideways riders as well…they all recommend dirt track or supermoto as a way to really learn to control the bike when it’s out of control. It also seems like a great way to get a lot of the same thrills of track riding at much slower speeds.
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